08/20/05 - Sunday - The Inevitability of Something Grand

Sometimes love is simple...
Lightning quick, fiery, passionate
Nature slashes you with her whip
of raw physicality
And cunningly, you cower
and whimper
and yet rise to the occasion
taking boldly what is yours
accepting boldly what is given
giving and receiving love in its rawest form
reciprocation of the inevitable

Sometimes love is complicated
Intrigue, romance
Secrets sneaking silent 'round your heart
involving your life
your plans
your people
stealing away in dark corners
dancing sometimes in moonlight,
sometimes in shadow
sometimes in sun bright and punishing as the Sarengetti
intricate steps
felt delicately with a blind partner

This thing with you confuses me
Confounds me
Befuddled, bewildered, discombobulated
My Thesaurus resounds with ways to say it
That yet don't quite grasp the essence
The minutia of what I "get" so completely
and yet fail so utterly to grasp

What we have
and what we don't have
who and what we might or might not yet be
is such a montage of oddities

Fire? Oh, yes!
In ageless fleeting moments
That sustain and flare my thoughts
In drought of you
You have given me fire
today embers banked safely against tomorrow
it will take but a seconds' breath to flare them into fire again
We WILL burn together
Someday or days
Some night or nights
Lovely flames, Phoenix rising from ashes

Calm? Oh, yes!
A peace and surety of sorts
That leads me ever onward
That sooths inevitable doubt
And conquers fear

Love? Oh, yes!
So many ways, and yet more
Ever so many more
to come: I see them:
Clear possibilities beckoning
willow-the-wisps
In a hazy distance
crystal constellations
sprinkled through the galaxy of future

Happiness? Oh, yes!
Even when doubt sets fire
to my dreamings
When I draw near to you
They melt away
like tiny pats of butter under the summer sun
Just knowing you are close
even when we have no plans to be
Driving towards you
I looked in the mirror to check some piddling detail
And found a stupid smile creeping 'cross my face
for no good reason whatsoever
Bah!

Sadness? Oh, yes...
Your two-year records
Leave me frightened
That I will join the harem
As little more than background noise
In a lovely cluttered room

But
Sometimes, love simply IS
Something that defies analyzing
defies analogy
defies offense and defense
There is no defense against the inevitable
Sometimes, no matter how many ways you turn it
Or how many kinds of light you use to
look it through
figure it out
make it happen
drive it away
In the end,
there is nothing you can do but accept it
Accept it as it comes
Whether it comes as you dreamed it
or not
Whether it fits your fantasies
or your present
or even your future
Sometimes you are simply helpless
and deep inside you know,
No matter what comes
You will take it
You will make the most of it
You will cherish every second you have
Even accept sorrow if it comes
Although you sweat and pray and dream and hope
With heart in throat and impatience nipping at your heels
That it will be bliss that comes in sorrow's stead
because sometimes
No matter how you struggle... or don't
Love simply is.