08/08/05 -- A Rift Between Reality and Dream

The softests of sheets
Smooth pillows plumped and scented
Cool silent breeze from ceiling fan
Cicadas sing outside the window
Sleep beckons from shadowed corners
Perfect.
And yet these things do not call to me
tonight there is no allure
whether tis my imagination or my intuition
which fails me
yet there it is
Tonight
I cannot imagine that one side of that bed
is slightly warmer than the other
I cannot make myself believe
That slight indention was left as you
tumbled sleepily out for a quick drink
and that you will quietly slip back in
just as I fall asleep
Lay one hand on my hip
Squirl around til you're comfortable again
My fantasies fall flat and lifeless
as I try to rev those mental gears
bringing so close to life
as to be but a shadow-thin difference
to mistake between moments with Morpheus
a sheet twisted oddly across my hips
for your arm
my breath reflected from another pillow
for yours
the cat curled across my ankles
for your feet, twining with mine in sleep
Tonight these things do not embrace me
they do not live and breathe
just that half twist from reality
that I might wiggle my way into... if I try hard enough
No squinting of eyes, no 3/4 turn widdershins
brings me close to feeling you here
Tonight, there is no allure
to sleeping in my bed alone
No matter how cool the sheets
or plump the pillows
or soothing the fan
or mesmerizing the Cicadas
I only want you there
Where I can touch you in sleep
Kiss your shoulder to warm my lips
Perhaps your lips to warm my soul
You are not there
and there is no allure
My sweet bed, ship of dreams
Catacomb of a million fantasies
Sure source of surcease and comfort
Tonight...
Tonight, it only looms
Alone
and lonely.