Wednesday, December 27, 2006

12/26/2006 -- Not Muggles, but Middles

There it is. I have hunted after it, elusive. Chased it as it skittered from my sight around a corner just a handsbreadth away. Tonight, I looked askance, and there it was! Why is being in the middle truly so much different than any other place? It is, you know. And for some reason, almost everyone avoids it. Everyone wants to be on the edge of things - included, but able to bail - gets edgy when they're forced to the middle, no matter how pleasant the middle may be made. And Oh, the middle may be pleasant indeed! So why? Why back away from it as though it holds something worth fearing?

Because in the middle, there is no escape. You are always and only at the mercy of those on either side of you. If you are lucky, it is a tender mercy. They at any time have the power to turn towards or away from you. Include or shun you either deliberately or with stunning indifference. It takes courage to stand in the middle day after day. (and a certain willingness to glut oneself in pleasant indulgence.. but courage too!) And perhaps a certain sublimation of self as well. Others can turn to reach away from the center for the peace & darkness of nothingness whenever the need for a breath overtakes them. But in the middle, you must be prepared to meet and match all that comes your way... or does not. And while you can accept it from others, there is no nothingness towards which you can actively turn for silence and surcease at times of your choosing. Your only real choice is to turn towards another. When in the middle, even the choice of not-deciding a direction is really no choice, because not-deciding assumes the position of openness to all.

Of course.. you can just absent yourself completely. So I guess I'm wrong: there is a choice - in. or out. There just is no inbetween. Ironic, that! That for the person in the middle, there can be no inbetween. No place to put that one-foot-on-the-floor-ready-to-run. Only a certainty that you are either out... or in.

Bah! Ramblings of a madwoman!


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