Behold the Conquering Hero Comes

Someone not long ago asked me what sexual position I like best. For years, the answer that came to my mind when asked such a thing was "Missionary", which I always thought too mundane & boring to be anything I wanted to have come out of my mouth. Particularly in the situations where it was generally asked! This time, as thoughts flew several directions at once in my head (I was, after all, being rather pleasantly distracted at the time), I realized that answer wasn't necessarily valid any more. It wasn't necessarily wrong, either, which - me being me - indicated a need for some dissection of thought & process. To be done later, of course! Why had that changed, and why did I not know the answer now? My probably unsatisfying "I'm not sure" to my partner was accepted... but this entry constitutes a more thorough answer.

I've heard it said that a woman should be a lady on the streets and a whore in the bedroom. Well.. like so many other things in my life I've apparently got that one bass-ackwards too. Go figure.

I tend to be a fairly aggressive person in most areas of my life. I'm not sure "whore" is really the most appropriate term, but I can be a bit bawdy in the right company. In the rest of my life, I know what I want when I want it, and when I decide I want it, I take immediate and decisive steps to get it. It makes me itch to see IN-action, and I hate "wishy-washy". Nothing makes my skin crawl more than people whining about things they are unhappy with and yet not coming up with any solutions to make it different. Dating, I've gotten in trouble with oh-so-many-gentlemen when I grab the check at a meal, when I open my own doors, when I walk with confidence & aplomb & fail utterly to lean on them as though my own two feet weren't good enough & don't at all act like the spoiled princess who has to be coddled and taken care of to merely survive. I'm willing to bet large sums of money that 99.9% of the people I know, if polled (please don't feel it necessary to do that), would vote me as a "dom" rather than a "sub" in the bedroom.

They would be wrong.

What really makes my stomach flip over is when the man I'm with takes control. I don't mean that in a harsh, S&M sort of way, but in a firm, steel-in-a-velvet-glove sort of way. A Captain-of-his-vessel and King-of-his-castle sort of way. The bedroom is the one area of my life where I can easily & naturally let go the reins of control & hand them over to another person, letting them take us wherever they would like us to go. I like a man who is inventive, knows what he wants & what he likes & doesn't hesitate to ask for it... sometimes even simply takes it. I like it when he reaches for me in the night (or wherever), letting me know he's got just the glimmer of an idea, & 'couldI, wouldI'? (Most likely!) And I love it when he reaches for me in the night just to reassure us both the other is still there, too. Don't get me wrong - I'll match my partner's passion fire with fire, & we can take turns with pleasant ideas that occur to either of us in both life and in bed til the sun comes up.. .and goes down again! But if most of the time he directs our passage through passion's reign, I'm in bliss. That may be why sex IS important to me.. it's the jousting grounds on which we negotiate for 'who's in charge'. I put on a public face of being footloose & fancy free, a woman of the ages, sexually liberated, and perhaps a bit breezy on the subject... but the men who have bought that image for long have seen the hard side of the curb quicker than they would have liked. I truly give up more of myself to the man who shares my bed than I'm likely to admit out loud. It is the one place where I can relax from the iron control I hold over my life & what I'm doing with it for just a little while. It is where, each and every time, I experience for just a few moments the feeling of being the blushing virgin. The chaste princess saved from all things evil by her strong, virile immaculate white knight. Then both succored and plundered mercilessly by that self-same rogue. <~f~>

That sensation of control carries over, too. A man who engenders those sorts of feelings in the bedroom for me later may find himself a bit confused when I get just a tad more passive in public life. All of a sudden, I LIKE it when he opens doors for me. His hand on the small of my back is a possessive touch I welcome. (More than welcome - it sends frissions down my spine & warm glow into my heart.) I will wait just a little longer to let him pick up the phone and call ME more often than I call him. I don't object, but rather smile a small smile when he offers to carry my things, get me a drink, make a snack, and wonder of wonders... I don't raise nearly the ruckus I used to if/when he picks up the check at dinner. In fact, I begin to plan tiny ways to reward him for all these great big small things he does that early on, made me feel threatened, and now make me feel cherished.

So.. my favorite position? They're different with different people, and I'm absolutely certain there are tons I haven't experienced at all. But general, ones where my man is dominant, and ones where he has put me. Directed me. Placed me there to maximize his.. um.. our pleasure. Behold! The conquering hero comes :-)